‘In our culture, you never eat alone.’ Lessons from my Nigerien great-grandmother

Leila M’baye

March 10, 2022 / 9:52 am

caption: Family portrait taken in Niger in 1978. Leila M’baye's great-grandma, Hadjia Mecca, smiles in the center of the top row. Hadjia's two daughters sit on either side of her, and her three grandchildren sit in the front row. Leila’s mom, Aissata M’baye, is on the lower right.

RadioActive's Leila M’baye comes from three generations of successful businesswomen. Participating in the family business is something of a tradition in Leila’s family. Leila talked to her mom about the family member who started it all.

[RadioActive Youth Media is KUOW's radio journalism and audio storytelling program for young people. This episode was entirely youth-produced, from the writing to the audio editing.]

On Fridays after school, I help out at our family's restaurant by wiping down tables and sweeping the lobby. My maman, Aissata M’baye, started this restaurant in 2019. But she’s been running her own businesses since 2006.

My mom learned about entrepreneurship from her grandma, Hadjia Mecca. Hadjia ran an okra soup shop in Niger, and my mom started working there when she was 14. My maman says Hadjia was a tough lady, and an amazing cook.

"She started her small business in front of the house, selling local food," my mom says. "It was delicious. And little by little, everybody in the town knew about it. So everyone comes there for dinner."

In our culture, you never eat alone. You always have to invite people around you. Sometimes you even have to force them, if they're shy, to come and join you. Aissata M’baye

When my mom was 22, she immigrated to the U.S. She settled in Seattle, and at first, she took any job she could find. But she got tired of working for others. So, inspired by Hadjia, she started her own business.

My mom remembers being a kid and watching Hadjia work constantly to run her business and raise her family.

"She's always there, and never takes a day off. She works seven days a week," my mom remembers.

Now, my mom works seven days a week. And she’s also a fierce advocate for us, her family. Hadjia taught her that, too.

When my mom was a little younger than I am now, she would get in fights at school. She remembers how Hadjia would support her.

"She would always come to the school and defend me," my mom says.

Hadjia not only put her time into her family and her business, but she also she gave back to the community. She supported other working women in the markets, and neighbors were always welcome to come by her house to eat dinner— usually okra soup— and chat.

"In our culture, you never eat alone," my mom says. "You always have to invite people around you. Sometimes you even have to force them, if they they're shy, to come and join you.”

My mother does the same by inviting my cousins to our house whenever she cooks a big pot of thieboudienne.

We were raised to give no matter what. Even if you don't have a lot, even if you have one plate to share— you share it to somebody else. AISSATA M’BAYE

Hadjia made sure her kids understood the importance of giving.

"I think it’s the way we were raised," my mom says says. "Raised to give no matter what. Even if you don't have a lot, even if you have one plate to share— you share it to somebody else."

I asked my mom what drove Hadjia, and all the women of our family, to care so deeply about being providers and giving back. My mom told me it started when Hadjia’s father passed away when Hadjia was a teen. She had to grow up fast, and help raise her little siblings.

"She decided that she has to take care of herself, when she realized that she doesn't have anybody else to take care of her and her family," my mom says.

That independence. That drive. That generosity. These are the values that have been passed down through three generations of mothers and businesswomen in my family. Right down to me.

At 17, I am closer to facing a new chapter of my life: adulthood. And I’m nervous. But through learning about Hadjia’s life, I've found the strength I need to face the obstacles ahead of me.

The need to give and being around loved ones are the values that represent my family. And when I’m down, my family reminds me, “We’re ready to catch you when you fall, and congratulate you when you rise.”

This story was created in KUOW's RadioActive Online Intro to Radio Journalism Workshop for 15- to 18-year-olds, with production support from Kenju Waweru. Prepared for the web by Morgen White. Edited by Kelsey Kupferer.

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