Words In Review: Were you 'wrong'?

Now that the national Covid emergency has officially ended, some people say it's time to look back and say what we did right. And what we did wrong. The Seattle-area kept schools closed longer than some other parts of the country. Some of us here wiped down groceries and wore a mask while hiking.

“I think the word ‘wrong’ is not the right phrase to use,” University of Washington infectious disease researcher Dr. Helen Chu says. “We had to use the information that we had at the time. We knew that for pandemic influenza — which was the closest virus we had and the most recent example — that closing schools was effective in stopping transmission. It was very clear over the course of the first several months that Covid was not flu and it did not have the same effect in children. So, did we keep schools closed too long? I probably I would agree with that statement. But I don't think that we can second-guess the decisions we made back then.”

Americans have felt divided lately over Covid response, Black Lives Matter protests, the Trump presidency, and more. Seattle author Mónica Guzmán wrote a book about this division, called "I Never Thought of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations In Dangerously Divided Times." She says in tense times, we get loyal to our words, which makes it hard to come together. For example, she's a Mexican immigrant and when she hears someone use the term “illegal immigrant,” her brain quickly goes to: “Oh, they're more conservative than I am.”

“Maybe folks who have a reaction like that might also have a reaction of, ‘I can't talk to this person. If they're using the term "illegal immigrants," maybe they have no compassion for people who cross the border,'" Guzmán said. "The loyalty to words comes when we start to believe that there is only one correct name for anything.”

Guzman suggests if you hear someone use a label you don’t like, ask them about it.

“I noticed that you use the term ‘illegal immigrants.’ I have to tell you, I don't use that term, it makes me cringe. But I'm curious — what is it about the term ‘illegal immigrant’ that to you feels like the thing? What's in that for you?’ They might tell you, as people have told me, that it feels important to consider the legality of crossing our borders. Slow down. Use it as an opportunity to get curious.”

You could ask the person how they came to feel that way about legality. You could also flag a term you use that you know is not universally accepted.

“I know we're talking about the same thing, but from different directions. So I'm going to use this term, I hope that's OK. Just know that I'm OK with you using the term you need to use.”

Guzman has come around to describing the U.S. as a “democratic republic” instead of a “democracy” because she’s learned that some conservatives think it’s biased to suggest that we elect directly, and not through elected representatives, the electoral college, etc. She says whether you want to modify and flag your language like this is a personal choice.

“But it’s important not to think it's impossible. It's not impossible, if we get curious about words that trigger us and why some words may be a preferred term for someone else,” Guzman said.

She compares it to becoming multi-lingual.

“As we fracture and we make different languages, a fluency between languages becomes powerful. If you're able to find the term that is acceptable to all, or you're able to shove aside the need to have a term at all and can just describe the thing you mean, you will be heard better by those who you hope can hear you.”