A Full House of candidates: Today So Far

While you're considering your votes, start with the boring candidate. I say that because I watched “Full House.”

This post originally appeared in KUOW's Today So Far newsletter for November 2, 2022.

You have until 8 p.m. next Tuesday to turn in your midterm ballots. About 22% of ballots have already arrived at election offices. Stuart Holmes, the state's acting director of elections, tells KUOW that he expects 70% of ballots to be returned this year and that we're slated to see similar returns as the 2018 midterms. For the rest who are still putting pen to ballot, here’s a thought to consider as you research your votes: Start with the boring candidate.

I say that because I watched “Full House.”

In our modern era of hyper-partisan tribes, sensational speculation, and hot-button issues, “boring” is a good place to start, like a political palate cleanser. Which brings me back to “Full House.” Yep, the '80s / '90s sitcom that anchored TGIF TV. The Tanner kids in “Full House” are a lot like us voters.

They start an episode with a problem that needs fixing. Now, they could go straight to dad, good ol’ Danny Tanner, but he's a square and no fun. So instead, the kids cycle through a handful of more engaging personalities to fix the problem.

• Uncle Joey is funny, entertaining, and has an array of cartoon voices. He knows when to tell you to “cut it out.” Does he have a solution? Maybe. Maybe not. This is a guy who thought putting three diapers on a baby means that you only have to change it a third of the time.
• Uncle Jesse is the cool candidate. He holds your attention with panache and the confidence of Elvis. He understands that everybody should “have mercy” every now and then. But he's not too book smart, and is more interested in fixing his hair than your problems.
• Aunt Becky is out on "vacation" for a couple months after scouting colleges for the twins.
• If none of the previous candidates work, then we have a problem. At this point, conditions are tense enough for the worst of the worst to swoop in and take advantage. This is when candidate Kimmy Gibbler shows up. She's odd and a bit crazy, but she's a fast talker with a lot of gumption that grabs attention. When she's finished, you have gotten bad dating advice, your TV is busted, and she's passed out drunk. But at the time, the Tanneritos were desperate and figured, “What the heck?”

By now, a lot of TSF readers are wondering why I'm pulling a metaphor from a 30-year-old family sitcom that most folks barely remember. Here's the main take away: A lot of time and anguish could have been saved if the Tanner kids just went to the boring candidate first, Danny Tanner. He's not exciting. He has no catchphrases. He’s just clean. Danny is boring, but he’s the straightforward one who usually tells you what you need to hear, whether you want to hear it or not.

This metaphor can be stretched across a lot of sitcoms. "Good Times" — Don't go to J.J. "How I Met Your Mother" — watch out for Barney. "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" — leave Jazz at the door. "Arrested Development" — well, maybe not this one.

We voters generally want our problems to be taken care of within the span of 30 minutes and perhaps with some entertainment along the way. That works great for TV, but not politics. In reality, voting is the start of a much longer story that goes beyond the ballot box. If you care about issue X, voting is great, but progress is more often the result of persistent effort. It’s a story arc that spans an entire season, maybe more. It’s more like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” but we won’t go into that now.

I can’t tell you who the boring candidate is (and as someone who works in news, I'm certainly not going to start telling folks who to vote for). Every election is different and a boring candidate might not be the right choice. Sometimes there isn’t a boring candidate on the ballot, and sometimes the cool or funny candidate will do just fine. Boring is just a good place to start; a decent exercise for considering issues and candidates.

What I can tell you is that KUOW has already done some great reporting in the lead up to the midterms. If you’re looking for election insights, check out the following articles:

• Wading through this week's pre-election politics
• Takeaways from the Larkin-Schrier debate for the 8th Congressional District race
• Northwest GOP candidates hope to ride tough-on-crime message for success in November
• Sen. Murray and Smiley clash over the issues in Spokane debate
• Tribal representation in Olympia could quadruple this November
• No labels: Some election overseers want to make their offices nonpartisan to inspire greater trust
• A new group of voters is active for the 2022 November election
• Crime is focus in race for Washington's 8th District
• Dan Newhouse does not regret impeachment vote 'at all,' but rejects electoral count reform bill
• Redistricting pulled thousands of voters east of Seattle into one of the state's most competitive races
• Republicans and Democrats vie for Latino voters in the Northwest midterms

AS SEEN ON KUOW

Northwest singer-songwriter and gay rights activist Patrick Haggerty died this week. He was 78 years old. Haggerty formed the band Lavender Country in the early 1970s, and released the first gay-themed country album in 1973. The music found a new generation of fans in recent years, and Lavender Country released its second album, after nearly 50 years, in 2022. (Ted S. Warren / AP)

DID YOU KNOW?

Washington ranks among the top five most politically engaged states, according to the recent pop analysis from WalletHub.

The top five include, in order: Maryland, New Jersey, Virginia, Washington, and Oregon.

There are a lot of ways you can add up which states are more politically engaged. If you ask WalletHub, it comes down to levels of registered voters, percentage of people who voted in previous elections, civic group participation, etc. Washington scores high for the share of voters who participated in the 2018 midterms, engagement among young people (18-24) and ages 65 and older, and states with high GDP. Washington also has a dynamic of having high political engagement, and the most unfair tax system.

If politics and elections aren't your thing, then you might be interested in moving to Arkansas, the least politically engaged on this list.

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