A bike builds a bridge

Anti-Asian hate crimes spiked during the Covid-19 pandemic. And then the Atlanta spa shooting scarred a community already suffering.

But Kae-Lin Wang turned the Atlanta shooting’s aftermath into an opportunity for healing. And she used bikes to do it.

Today, Ampersand Bikes Club is still going strong. It’s co-organized and co-run by some of its 100+ community members.

In this episode, we hear from Kae-Lin and Andrew Chin about how a bicycle might provide strength, joy, and a way to create a protected space. And how protecting that community space is not always easy.

Related Links:

Ride with Ampersand Bikes Club!

Ampersand Bikes Club at Seattle Parks Foundation

Bike Works and Northstar Cycling and Peace Peloton

Seattle area Bike map

"Ten Thousand Things" is produced by KUOW in Seattle. Our host, writer, and creator is Shin Yu Pai. Whitney Henry-Lester produced this episode. Jim Gates is our editor. Tomo Nakayama wrote our theme music. Additional music in this episode by Ross Christopher and 12 Palms. Special thanks to ABC, Shannon, Sammy Vo, Annie Sing and Alan Zhang for their contributions!

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Partial funding of "Ten Thousand Things" was made possible by the Seattle Office of Arts and Culture Hope Corps Grant, a recovery funded program of the National Endowment for the Arts, plus support from The Windrose Fund.

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Transcript:

Shin Yu Narration: Years ago, a cousin introduced me to Taiwanese bicycling culture during one of my visits back to my parents' homeland. Together we toured by bike around my father's village in Taiwan, through back country roads that took us past rice paddies, ruined houses, and Buddhist temples. I could have seen all of these sights from the comforts of a car or at the speed of a moped, but being on a bike let me take in the experiences at my own pace. They also helped me to feel connected to my father, who biked similar roads as an adolescent and student, long before cars were the norm in his village, when all you could rely on were your own two legs and if you were lucky, a pair of wheels.

Kae-Lin: Bikes were my first medium of knowing and seeing what my body was capable of.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin Wang did the STP, or Seattle to Portland ride. Those 206 miles proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she could trust in her physical body.

Kae-Lin: That was the first time I ever made like a training plan and like, wow, could I actually ride my bike a hundred miles in one day? I, this is like something I would never fathom.

Shin Yu Narration: A newcomer to cycling might be dissuaded from jumping into the sport. You'd have to get past the magazine images of hyper-fit athletes in spandex engaged in Cyclocross, a non-Olympic style of cycling that combines road cycling, mountain biking and steeplechase.

Kae-Lin: I literally believed I had to do that for some reason in order to be called a cyclist.

I know that I'm not your traditional rider, and I've never really believed what my body could do. And so for me to set these long distance goals has been just really empowering for myself and my body, my abilities.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin didn't see many images of Asian American bike riders in a culture of white men, skin-tight spandex, and titanium bikes engineered for speed.

Andrew Chin also discovered an appreciation for biking, but in a different way...

Andrew: it was a 1983 Schwinn All Sport.. A bike that my brother got for my dad because it was similar to one that he had in college my dad didn't really ride it, I took it on as my own I, I figured I would commute to campus and that would be my main mode of transportation.

I just started working on that bike, taking it apart and figuring out how it worked, making it my own. Being able to like do repairs and like upgrade my bike on my own, felt very empowering

Shin Yu Narration: Andrew and Kae-Lin both found a vehicle that carried them somewhere they never expected to travel.

Andrew and Kae-Lin are members of ABC, Ampersand Bike Club. They meet up once a month. On an organized community ride with other Asian American Pacific Islander biking enthusiasts. This kind of specifically Asian space wasn't something either had a lot of experience with.

But in 2021, it became a necessity.

Welcome to Ten Thousand Things. . A podcast about modern-day artifacts of Asian American life.

I'm Shin Yu Pai, your host. Today, the bicycle.

Asian spaces aren't a given. For those of us who grew up as some of the only Asians in our neighborhoods and schools, Asian space looked like Chinese school on Saturday mornings. OrAsian American church services on Sundays o, family gatherings. For me, growing up in Riverside, California, I experienced Asian space when I grocery shopped with my parents in Monterey Park, which was an hour from our house. We were weekend Asians. The rest of our week was spent assimilating.

Kae-Lin grew up in Houston.

Kae-Lin: Growing up, I've always just, never felt like I fitted in with the Asians.

My mom was a single mom and she was never at home because she worked nights.

Me and my sister just kind of did things on our own and I found myself falling into like, what they call like the on level kids, like the people that weren't in honor classes

Shin Yu Narration: There are a handful of circumscribed stereotypes around what being Asian has to look like, many of them defined by academic performance. These limited stereotypes can be pretty painful to navigate alone.

Kae-Lin: And I would see all of the Asians hanging out together and like getting food and just like, like I just always was that girl, the token Asian girl with all my white friends outside of that.

Shin Yu Narration: For Andrew, even the connection to Seattle's Chinatown-International District, the center of the Asian American community, felt estranged

Andrew: My grandfather had this big gambling problem.

My family in particular, moved to Everett specifically to avoid, get away from Chinatown. And so

I always felt really isolated from Chinatown.

Shin Yu Narration: For many of us, we live in between different communities, and identities that bring forward different parts of who we are. But Sometimes an unexpected event is put in front of us and makes us confront things that we may not have been ready to examine before.

On March 16, 2021, a shooting spree took place across three spas in Atlanta. Eight people were killed. Six of the people killed were women of East Asian descent. The youngest victim was 33, while the oldest victim was 74. Some were mothers. Others were grandmothers. All died violently.

Andrew: I think I just like got on my bike and started riding around, honestly.

Shin Yu Narration: As news of the Atlanta Spa Shootings unfolded in the media, a part of me curled up and died inside. I was working from home for a small arts center in a seaside town when the news hit. I asked our marketing director if we could put out a statement on socal media - like they had after George Floyd. She asked if I really thought we needed one.

A co-worker held back from checking in on me, because our executive director had explicitly ordered her not to mention the shootings to me. Later, that same director would talk my ear off about how she had no idea that Asians were targets of bias and hate.

No one wanted to publicly condemn the violence enacted against Asian women as a hate crime. On top of that, the shooting suspect defended himself with a claim that he had a sexual addiction. The act of shooting 6 Asian women was justified as an act of eradicating temptation, the reminder of sin. The logic of the moment completely failed all Asian women, erasing us and rendering our lives worthless in an instant.

Kae-Lin too was stunned.

Kae-Lin: The whole Atlanta spa shootings literally flipped my world upside down.

It just started hitting me like rocks it's not just like the shootings, you know, but unraveling my entire, like life as an Asian woman.

Shin Yu Narration: The pandemic brought Anti-asian racism and hate to the fore. Blamed for the spread of covid-19, Asians were conflated with "kung-flu" and the "China virus." Asian elders and Asian women in particular were subject to physical and verbal assault, violence, and murder. Asian Americans have been in the negative spotlight before that. But in a different way.

Tou Thao, a minneapolis police officer of Hmong descent looked the other way, while Derek Chauvin knelt on George Floyd's neck.

It was George Floyd's murder that pushed Kae-lin to examine systemic racism.

Kae-Lin: I felt like I was starting from scratch, but I like spent all that summer and year like digging into black history and like l educating myself on that, but not on Asian Americans and stuff like that.

Shin Yu Narration: Then Atlanta happened and all of a sudden, it was us. Asian women were the victims

Kae-Lin: I was working at a little, bakery . I like checked my phone. I remember seeing headlines. Saying there was a shooting, And so I was like, okay, whoa. And then I get back to work and then I had a couple of text messages from my friends that were, hey, just or saw the shootings wanna check up on you, I'm thinking of you. I'm checking up on you. How are you doing? And I was like, what? Why? You know? and I was just so confused.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin went home and got herself caught up on the news and social media.

Kae-Lin: The social media thing was crazy just to see people share stories and bring into light like what happened and just talking about Asians, that's just like something that hasn't really been done. it was just ugh, crazy mix of emotions and, overwhelm and also like, in a way, like grateful people were starting to care in a way, you know,

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin only had two Asian friends in Seattle and not a whole lot of people with whom she could turn to, to help her process the hate crime. Kae-Lin approached a trusted work friend with whom she felt safe.

Kae-Lin: I felt like she was like my mentor cuz she's been unraveling her blackness for much longer than me. she's always just been like a safe person for me to talk about race I was like, I think I want to just organize a calling for Asian Americans to come together during this time. Cuz I, I felt like that's what I needed.

I just really wanted to be surrounded by each other.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin thought about the tools at her disposal. Bikes had been such an important part of her own empowerment and joy. But she felt so new to the bike community.

Kae-Lin: I've never organized her ride. I have never, like, I don't have any experience or credibility or anything, you know, like I just, I'm very new to the bicycling community. I have like, no network basically. And so she was like, you just need to do it.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin went home and scheduled a community bike ride. She looked at maps and planned a route through Gasworks Park in Fremont to Golden Gardens in Ballard.

I was like, what is the most safest, that we can do?

I don't really know how to organize people through traffic.

She quickly put up promotional flyers she threw together. It all happened fast

I called it a community ride and it wasn't open to allies, it was just for Asian Americans in this space.

The ride took place just two days later.

Kae-Lin: It was dry, but it was like a little chilly in March.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin was super nervous about gathering a group of Asian-looking people together in public after the events in Atlanta. She felt uneasy about people's safety all morning

Kae-Lin: People were like sending me dms.

It was overwhelming because I didn't, there's all these like, random people on the internet that I didn't know who they were.

And I was like, who do I trust? Cuz it was just like strangers, you know?

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-Lin turned to people in her trusted network who vetted and vouched for folks.

And in an unexpected act of solidarity, Bikeworks showed up. Bikeworks is non-profit organization with a deep commitment to racial justice. They promote the bicycle as a vehicle for change and empowerment. And they are known for organizing rides

Kae-Lin: They all showed up. They're like, we do this for our job and how can we help? And I was like, oh, thank God.

That also showed me how supportive the bicycling community is.

Shin Yu Narration: Other people showed up. Like 40 people.

Bikeworks helped split the crowd up into smaller, more manageable groups. They made sure each group had a leader. And they designated caboose riders to watch the group from the rear, keeping an eye on safety and ensuring that the group stayed together.

Kae-Lin: I felt like a little chaotic. I was actually really stressed out. but then I think this is what we all feel like when we ride our bikes, but as soon as I got on my bike, all my stress just completely disappeared. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is so fun.

Shin Yu Narration: The groups rode to Golden Gardens park. The riders processed what they were feeling about the events of the week together. To close the ride, Kae-lin gave a speech

Kae-Lin: Mainly I was like, the reason I started this or call for this ride was because I've been so ashamed of who I was as an Asian American woman, and this is the first time I'm feeling proud of who I am this literally came out of this personal journey of within myself that I've been suppressing and just like not bringing into the surface. And I think that's what made me tear up so much.

Shin Yu Narration: Asian American identity is extremely complicated. Race is often understood as a black/white binary. People assume Asians are white, failing to realize that anti-Asian policies have required that our families assimilate in order to survive in hostile places. In that process, we've often lost a connection to our language, our cultures of origin, our homelands, and a critical sense of belonging.

Those that rode that day expressed their gratitude for the gathering.

Kae-Lin: One person came up to me and was like, today's my 40th birthday and I bailed on my birthday plans to come to this. and it was something that I didn't know that I needed. A lot of people shared they don't have a lot of Asian friends and they really just needed this, and I feel like because I was in the same need, somehow I was able to reach some people like that.

Shin Yu Narration: Kae-lin felt the ground beneath her shift. People like her had come together out of mutual grieving and deep need for community

Kae-Lin: It was actually kind of like a monumental point in my life because I finally saw like what my purpose was

Shin Yu Narration: her purpose:to use bikes to build community.

Kae-Lin: So right after that I went in for my shift to make scones , and I worked till like, I don't know, like 1:00 AM or something,

Shin Yu Narration: The rides have continued. These days, it's a monthly thing. More than just another bike club. They bike, take a break, make ramen, eat and share food, and then ride again..

The group protects the space as an Asian American Pacific Islander space. Because so few of these protected spaces exist. The club's members know this is something special.

Annie: Ampersand Bike Club is so much more than just a bike club It is a place where people with similar values can get together. The values of ABC are so strong in wanting to be a catalyst for liberation, that it seeps into everything. it seeps into how we bike, it seeps into the beliefs that the org holds. It seeps into the community. How we treat each other and how we talk to each other. It's seeps into how we intend to talk to each other, how we strive to move forward.

Alan: If someone forgets food or water, we will boil them, boil water, boil noodles for whoever needs it. it's a chance for me to care for others if I'm bringing extra food or water, but also a chance for me to be cared for.

There's no ever expectation of me that to do these things. Um, it's just a chance for me to show the love and care I have for everyone, but also for me to receive the love and care I have for every.

Andrew: There's really no expectations for how you need to show up.

ShinYu: It's a kind of radical acceptance.

Andrew: Yeah. And like, I think in a lot of other Asian spaces, there's a way you're expected to behave or to be, or to know.

I think part of what makes our group really special is that we don't have that. You just show up on your bike and, bring some toppings to share with other people. like,

Kae-Lin: If you don't come with anything, it doesn't matter. you are welcomed as family because food is so integral that like, it just like breaks this barrier down of like new people meeting each other.

Yeah. For some reason you got like the marinade eggs, the tofu, and all of a sudden like you're everybody's best friend.

Shin Yu Narration: Radical acceptance and safe space for Asians means someone gets excluded. Namely white folks.

Kae-Lin: White folks have a really large community. There's just so many rides specifically that they can access freely, and there's just something so different about having a space for asians, Asian Americans, Native hawaiians, Pacific Islander. And so, um, I think in the beginning, just like creating a space for that community and for those who identified, And so I just wanted to be very intentional about the people that we were serving.

Shin Yu: When I met you all, it was because I was on the waterfront with, some of my friends, Eyvind Kang and Jessika Kenney, who are a mixed race couple.

Eyvind's Korean, canadian, and, uh, Jessica's, you know, not Asian

And so I, I saw like this big gang of 35, 40 Asian people on cycles rolling up. And I was like, what is this something is happening , you know, and like Eyvind was like Asian space and

and like, you know, we just sat there and watched you all. And then Jessica she engaged, uh, one person in the group and was really curious about, what you do, how often you get together.

And this person, conveyed that it was, uh, an Asian space

And, I, myself having a white partner, I wouldn't be able to bring him. And that's like a, a complicated terrain to kind of navigate, you know? So, yeah. How do, how do those conversations go?

Kae-Lin: Anytime I've talked about the idea of opening it to white allies, I've had pushback from people inside and so I feel like I'm just trying to listen to what the people want,

and like making sure people know our values and our intentions because we're not here to just exist as another bike club. We're so much more than that.

I want people to know that.

Andrew: I think for a lot of people I think they might come with questions, but once they're actually in this space Yeah. it makes sense.

Shin Yu Narration: Recently ABC has expanded, inviting BIPOC and multiracial groups to join in on rides and ramen. The mutual support within each group expands out, and the communities empower each other.

Kae-Lin: It's so, it's kind of like nerdy, but so special.

And I like loved being able to share that with them. I feel like I'm shown what true community is and just genuine care for each other in our group. It's cultivated over time because of the people in it who like show so much care to the community.

Shin Yu Narration: Bikes aren't just a mode of transportation. They're also tools of empowerment around which communities are built in Seattle. From groups like Northstar Cycling which exist to get melinated people on bikes outdoors to Peace Peloton which organizes bike rides that support Black-owned businesses. Bikes and bicycling culture in the Pacific Northwest have brought together communities in unexpected ways to engage with trauma, identity, and race. But that doesn't always mean it's heavy.

Andrew: Showing up for each other and lifting each other up, um, is just something that I haven't found in a community before.

Kae-Lin: Mm-hmm.

Andrew: of just being so like unabashedly joyful

and giving so freely

ShinYu: Mm-hmm.

Andrew: is something that I think a lot of people don't really have a good grasp on

ShinYu: a model

Andrew: Yeah. A model for how that feels. And ,what that looks like.

Shin Yu Narration: In road bike racing, cyclists in a group conserve energy by riding close to other riders. slipstreaming behind others in a peloton. together they cut down on drag. Riders rotate their positions from front to back to front again, to share recovery time. In this way, a group moves and leads together so that no one rider is overburdened. Kae-lin brings this approach to how she organizes Ampersand Bike Club. All of the group's decisions are made collectively, including their structure, their mission, and what they call themselves as a group.

Kae-Lin: My hope also, like in the group as a culture is to like have just a very like transparent and open communication, um, where people can ask questions.

Like, I want people to have these really like intentional deep conversations asking us why and what we're doing. And I feel like I've been getting that so much from each members, and they feel comfortable asking me really hard questions and I'd be like, oh, that's a great question. Let's dig into this more as a group.

We're always overthinking things, but it's really good for the club

I don't wanna be surface level basically. And we wanna built and cultivate authentic, genuine, transparent, vulnerable relationships with each other, is my hope. And yeah, to really feel like a family.

Shin Yu Narration: Like being in community with strangers, riding a bicycle is also an act of vulnerability. Unlike a car, a bike is unprotected, exposed to the elements and to the dangers inherent to sharing the road with cars. Yet when we ride with a pack, we move together. Aware of every other body. Every other being in relationship to us which keeps us moving forward, even when we think we can't bear to go any further.