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caption: Liza White, Morgen's mother, holds the ultrasound from her pregnancy with Morgen.
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Liza White, Morgen's mother, holds the ultrasound from her pregnancy with Morgen.
Credit: KUOW PHOTO/Morgen White

I was pregnant on 9/11. Here’s how I see my anxieties in expecting parents today

There are many reasons to be anxious about the future right now. The pandemic, politics and climate change can leave some expectant mothers wondering what the future holds for their kids.

All that anxiety brought back some memories for Liza White, who carried a child during 9/11.

Liza's child, Morgen White, is all grown up now. Recently, the two of them, mother and daughter, went to visit a pregnant friend.

After that trip, Liza, the mother, told her daughter what it was like carrying a child during 9/11, and what new mothers can take from that experience.

"So I was thinking about Ellen and Dave and how they must be feeling.

I mean, you know, basically their entire pregnancy has been during this pandemic, it’s… I just thought how scary that would be.

And then, I remembered when I was pregnant with you and how that was when 9/11 was going on. I remember it so clearly.

That morning I'd been driving for the vanpool and I was out there at 6:30 and I turned on the radio and there were panicked voices and I remember feeling like the ground was sliding out from under me.

But I had to go around and pick up my coworkers so as we drove over everyone was just in shock and we were just listening.

During most of my pregnancy at that point, up until that point I had been very sick and I don't know if it was just emotional, or the sickness or both, but that day I ended up in the emergency room.

It definitely felt like the world was ending. It was hard to know what kind of future I would have and you would have. What is the future for my baby?

You know, seeing the Twin Towers collapse on television was like watching the world end. It brought into this hopeful stage a huge portion of uncertainty, uncertainty about the future, for the country, for me personally, and for this child that I was bringing into the world.

I mean what kind of world was I bringing this child into?

I was also thinking about all the things that have happened since then. 18 years with you, and for all the uncertainty and for all the bad that was happening during 9/11, I think of everything, all the joy, and just all the wonderful times we’ve had.

If I hadn't had you then you know my life would be so different.

So I would want to tell Ellen that despite all the things going on her baby is a good thing.”

caption: Morgen White and her mother Liza White
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Morgen White and her mother Liza White
Credit: Morgen White

This story is part of our series, Voices of the Pandemic, and was produced by Morgen White.

It was edited by Joshua McNichols, with support from Mary Heisey and KUOW's Radioactive Youth Media program. The radio version of this story includes music by Roary. The Voices of the Pandemic theme song is by Alec Cowan.