Skip to main content

You make this possible. Support our independent, nonprofit newsroom today.

Give Now

Like A Virgin: How My Husband Relearned Sex After A Brain Injury

caption: Writer Sonya Lea and her husband Richard Bandy in high school in the 1970s.
Enlarge Icon
Writer Sonya Lea and her husband Richard Bandy in high school in the 1970s.
John Carswell/Courtesy of the author

When writer Sonya Lea’s husband underwent a radical surgery, he lost three pitchers of blood.

That severe blood loss deprived his brain of oxygen, causing permanent damage. When he emerged from the operating room, his eyes were shocked open, and his personality had changed.

And, as Lea discovered, he had forgotten how to have sex.

They had been great lovers, she told the Lit Crawl Seattle audience at The Elliott Bay Book Company on Oct. 22. She worked to remind him of their sexual past, but he kept forgetting. They would have to reinvent their love life.

As they did, she learned about herself – and what love means to her.

Lea is a screenwriter and essayist who teaches at Seattle’s Hugo House. This piece was recorded by Anna Tatistcheff.

Editor's note: This piece contains frank discussion of sex.

Follow Speakers Forum on Twitter.

Why you can trust KUOW