'So much for Plan A.' Three stories of life-changing decisions

On this episode of the RadioActive podcast, Rhea Beecher, Eva Solorio and Emily Chua bring you three stories about how and why people make life-changing decisions.

[RadioActive Youth Media is KUOW's radio journalism and audio storytelling program for young people. This story was entirely youth-produced, from the writing to the audio editing.]

Transcript:

Rhea Beecher: Decisions, decisions.

Hi! My name is Rhea Beecher, and right now I’m facing two choices: I can either stay at my parent's house or move out.

[Ominous sound effect]

If I stay at my mom’s house, life is familiar and comfortable.

[Sounds of Rhea's mom's household at dinnertime]

But if I move out, I get to be independent and forge my own path.

I don't know what's going to happen, or what I'm giving up by choosing one way over another. I wish someone could tell me what to do.

Whichever decision I make, there's bound to be pain and hardship. But I’m not going to get anywhere if I sit here and do nothing. I need to move forward.

[Upbeat music]

Welcome to the RadioActive podcast. RadioActive Youth Media is where teens make radio at KUOW.

And on today’s episode, we’re bringing you three stories about how and why people make life-changing decisions.

RadioActive’s Emily Chua knows what it's like to dive right in.

Emily is a second-year music student at the University of Washington. She agonized over the choice to study music — to be frank, there aren’t a ton of promising jobs out there for professional musicians.

Emily talked to her friend and fellow music major Sydney Belden about her decision.

Act 1: Emily and Sydney

[Sydney Belden singing]

Emily Chua: That’s my friend, Sydney.

Sydney Belden: My name is Sydney Belden, and I am a sophomore at the University of Washington. And… I kind of love my life.

Emily: Sydney is at her dream school studying her dream majors, environmental studies and vocal performance. She has always loved singing, and knew she wanted it to be part of her future.

But her parents told her she also needed to have a more practical college major. Sydney faced a quandary.

Sydney: I thought to myself, I was like, 'How sad would that be if I just never followed my dream?' ‘Cause I was always known as the girl that was singing. I always sang the national anthem, I was leading worship at my church, I just — I sing all the time in the house. I was in choir, I did musical theater, I just I love to sing, and I was just thinking that that would be devastating, and a waste of potential and a waste of talent if I just never followed through with that, and I never just tried.

Emily: So Sydney auditioned for the music program and got in. Now she had to balance two totally different majors. But she was ready to take on the challenge. She was living her dream.

Sydney: There's a quote by Ron Swanson, and I don't know if I’m allowed to say it. ‘Why half-ass two things when you can whole-ass one thing?’ Which I've never really resonated with because, if I have both of these majors, why would I want to do them ‘kind of,’ not do them to their fullest potential, just so that I can do both?

Emily: Sydney has her friends and family at her back, but she says there’s something even more important than having a support network.

Sydney: You have to have faith in yourself.

Emily: That's especially important when dealing with a decision like studying to become a professional musician. The stigma of the starving artist is a hard one to break, but Sydney still sees value in pressing on.

Sydney: Whether you're happy or sad, people always turn to artists, and I feel like people take it for granted.

Emily: Music is Sydney’s safe space, and she knows that when she’s performing onstage, she’s creating a sanctuary for those listening to her, too. And that’s what makes her decision to study music worthwhile, even if it’s hard.

Sydney: I am stressed as hell, I can't even lie. I mean — like I said before, I’m having the right problems, that's the mentality I try to have. Like, I had a whole meltdown earlier this week because things were just so overwhelming for me. But I just had to keep in mind the fact that I’m doing what I love, and I’m working towards the future that I want, because I worked towards the future that I’m having now.

[Sydney singing]

Emily: As teenagers, we’re at the crux of the transition into adulthood and independence. The possibilities can be overwhelming and the decisions agonizing.

But if we are having all the right problems, then we know we’re on track.

Act 2: Eva and Ana

Rhea: Too bad I can't live in two places at once! When I decide where I want to live, I guess I'll have to take a leap of faith.

RadioActive's Eva Solorio has more on that. She talked to her mom, Ana Iglesias, about Ana’s decision to move to a new country with a man she fell in love with.

Eva Solorio: Growing up, I never really knew how my mom made the decision to move here to Washington from Jalisco, Mexico. So I asked her.

Ana Iglesias: Yo vivía en México. Terminé de estudiar la licenciatura en Educación Preescolar o maestra de kínder. Siempre me interesó estudiar el idioma porque es más fácil de tener un mejor trabajo en México como maestra bilingüe y por eso decidí venirme a estudiar inglés. Viví con mi hermano y fue cuando conocí a tu papá.

[I lived in Mexico, and I finished studying to get my license in Early Childhood Education. I always had an interest in learning English, because it was easier to get a better job in Mexico as a bilingual teacher, and so that's why I decided to come here to study English. I lived with my brother, and that’s when I met your dad.]

Eva: When my mom was 25, she moved to California to study English. She only expected to be here a few months. But then she met this guy. And a few months after they met, he asked her to move in with him. Just imagine this guy who you’ve known for less than a year asking you to live with him — and get this, he asks you to live in an entirely new country together.

And she said yes.

I probably don’t have to tell you this, but that guy is my dad.

They moved from California to Washington, and shortly after, they had me. My mom was only 26 and boom: new country, new language, new partner, new kid.

My mom became close friends with our neighbors and she sought them out for support and advice. But she was greeted with other problems. As time passed, her marriage to my dad didn’t work out.

I asked her if she regretted the whole thing.

Ana: El decirte que, que me arrepiento de haberme venido a este país o de haberme quedado por estar con tu papá. Eso yo no puedo decir que me arrepiento, porque independientemente de lo que él sea, le di tres hijos de los que yo estoy muy orgullosa y de los que me hacen feliz.

[To say that I regret moving here, or even staying here to be with your dad — I can’t say that I regret it. Because regardless of what he may be, I gave him three kids that make me proud and that make me happy.]

Eva: Listening to my own mom say she didn’t regret moving here or even staying here with my dad was groundbreaking. I thought this entire time she would be bottled up with regret with making this decision.

The separation from my dad hurt all of us. But it shows that even if something doesn’t directly work out, there may be something else there that makes it better. And for my mom it was us, her kids.

Ana: Pues de todo, de todo lo triste, lo doloroso, lo mal o lo decepcionante que he vivido, que ha sido un dolor del alma. Eso es lo que me ha convertido en una mujer más fuerte.

[With all the sadness, pain, the bad, and the disappointment that I went through that was soul-crushing — it’s what made me a stronger woman.]

Eva: Honestly, it makes me reflect on my own decision-making. And it’s helped me reach the conclusion that there’s really no definitive answer to living life.

[Music fades in]

My mom’s decision might’ve not been what she desired, having moved here with a random guy she had just met. But it led her to grander things: supportive friends like the vecinos, new job opportunities, and us, as her kids.

Whatever path someone may be on — it could be hurtful, joyful etc. — there’s always something waiting to bloom.

Act 3: Rhea and Jessica

Rhea: I'm feeling better about making a decision now. Wherever I go, there's potential for me to grow and become a stronger person.

But what happens if I don't have the freedom to choose? You know, sometimes you know what choices are ahead of you. And sometimes... they just come out of nowhere.

My mom discovered that for herself when a single phone call turned her world upside down.

[Music fades out]

My mom’s name is Jessica Beecher.

She’s funny — when she comes into a room, she makes everything more fun. She’s understanding and supportive. She’ll laugh and cry with you.

And when she was around my age, she was kind of a party girl, running around barefoot on the streets of Olympia.

Jessica Beecher: When I was young, I hopped all over town making friends, smoking pot, having no future. I loved it. And when I got older, I stuck with the nonconventional. I decided I loved dancing more than anything. I absolutely loved to dance. I mean my life was like a whirlwind.

Rhea: Eventually, my mom settled down. But she still wanted to be part of something big. So in 2018, when she was 33, she enrolled at Highline College to become a paralegal.

Jessica: You know, the Black Lives Matter movement is getting going. And somebody's gonna need to do that paperwork. Everybody wants to be on the frontlines marching and throwing potatoes or whatever it is you guys do out there. But somebody's got to do that paperwork. And I said, I can come do that paperwork.

Rhea: My mom was doing amazing in college. She had a 4.0. Every chance she got she did extra credit. She’s thriving.

Until one day she got a call from her niece that changed everything.

See, my mom wasn’t always my mom. She started off as my aunt. Not a blood aunt, but the chosen family kind of aunt.

Jessica: I actually worked for your birth mother. Well, that's how I met her.

Rhea: So, my mom is in college, it’s 2018, and I’m 10 years old. That year, my birth mom stopped being able to take care of me and my siblings. And then one night, everything changed for my mom.

Jessica: So I got out here, and I went to paralegal school down at Highline, oh, and I just, I just took to it. I loved it. And my civil rights class was coming up in the summer, and I got so excited.

And that's when I got the call from your sister that I needed to come get all of you right now. And then that night, I came and got all of you. And everything changed that night.

Rhea: When my mom said this, I was dumbfounded. Taking me and my four siblings in was not an easy choice to make. And the fact that my mom made that decision in a snap of a finger is incredible.

To officially take us, my mom had to go to court.

Jessica: And I remember that judge, just a few days later, looked at me and said, 'Do you want them? Do you even want them? Can you do this?' I was like, how are you even asking me that? I mean, I’m here, aren't I? I said I wanted them, didn’t I? I was a little bit offended. But I had to be nice because you know, court.

Rhea: It was one of the biggest choices my mom had ever made, and she was confident in her choice. She wanted us and she didn’t second guess. She just said yes.

Jessica: And I took you guys for as long as I could. And it was difficult. It was, you know, I was all by myself. And there was a lot of y'all. But those days have passed. It is not as hectic as it was back then.

Rhea: I know my mom is happy with the path she chose, but I know it hasn't always been easy for her. So, I wanted to know, if she could go back in time and tell herself one thing, what would she say?

Jessica: If I could go all the way back to when I was young, and grungy and living on the streets, I would tell myself that I had value, that I would have value. And that people would tell me that I didn't, but they were wrong.

Rhea: My mom didn’t just make a difference through paperwork and Black Lives Matter. She also made a difference just by being my mom.

Jessica: I came here wanting to be helpful and change the world. And I am now capable of being helpful, and I am changing the world.

[Music fades in]

Rhea: My mom had two paths. She was walking down one, when she got pushed down another one.

Now she gets to walk both paths — parenting us, and pursuing her dream of becoming a lawyer.

She’s taking classes right now.

Rhea: All right, clearly there's no manual or textbook to tell exactly what to do. I've learned a few things to guide me, though.

Whatever I choose, I have to put my all into it. Big decisions won't benefit from halfhearted commitment.

There's no one right course of action, either. After all, everyone's unique. We find different ways to make things work.

And finally, I need to ask myself the big question: What am I trying to do, and who am I trying to be?

I don't have to know every single thing I’m going to do in the next 10 years, but in the end, it's up to me. I'm the only one who can make this decision, and you bet I’m going to make it count.

Life happens, and I’m choosing to hop on for the ride.

This story was produced in RadioActive Youth Media's Advanced Producers Workshop for high school and college-age youth. Production assistance by Noel Gasca and Charlotte Engrav. Edited and prepared for the web by Kelsey Kupferer.

Special thanks to Ellen Kwon, Jaden Wang, David Lin, and Sophie Ma for providing background information.

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