Single people in Seattle: It's not in your head. It really is this bad

Is Seattle 'a gloomy puddle of aggravated women, socially awkward men and rainwater?'

It’s true that we are heading into the long dark days of winter. You would think that would inspire people to embrace Seattle’s Scandinavian roots and practice a little hygge with a new cuddle friend.

But Susie Lee, erstwhile biochemist and creator of the dating app Siren, said the Seattle Freeze is fully in effect instead.

One reason she gave is the digital divide that keeps people from meeting in person.

“When you talk about biochemistry, we imagine these atoms running around and bouncing into each other," Lee told Bill Radke on KUOW’s The Record. "If we don’t have that and all these atoms are hidden off in their little café in one corner and not running into each other – you’re not going to have a chemical explosion.”

Read more: Is The Seattle Freeze A Real Thing?

Lee said her app attempted to spark real conversations between people that could lead to in-person connection, but that’s not often the way it goes with online dating.

“If you are just treating people like, ‘I’m going to be shopping for shoes and now I’m just going to jump on this dating site and shop for humans,’ the idea of having any kind of potential real connection is really hard,” she said.

One of our listeners, Amy from the Rainier Beach neighborhood, said a major issue she saw in the dating scene as opposed to her time in Chicago was less casual meeting in person, like at a local bar. Instead, it was more diving in head first.

“The sense I get with Seattle is that it’s much more ‘instant monogamous relationship’ — of like, ‘I’m special, you’re special, we’re special, let’s be special together for three to four weeks until we ghost each other,’” she said.

Susie Lee shared tips on how to thaw that aloofness:

• Being in a group can intimidate potential mates.
• Send a signal: a smile, hello, or a question about the book the person is reading (hey, we’re also one of the most literary cities in the country).
• If someone gives you their number, don’t make your first interaction a photographic rendering of your genitalia. (Do we have to say this? Yes, we do.)

And this:

“If you go to a party and think it’s going to be bad before you even walk in the door, then it probably isn’t going to be enjoyable,"' Lee said. "If you’re single and you really want to meet someone, declare it and let people know and let other people help you out. And yes, get on the bus and light rail and start smiling at other people.”

Produced for the web by Kara McDermott.