Fiction: The case of the matcha latte murder

Sam is the host of a true-crime YouTube series called "You Got Harmed." And there's nothing Sam won't do to get more subscribers.

In this funny, fictional and satirical episode of the RadioActive podcast, you're invited to laugh at Sam's misguided antics while also confronting the very real faults of the "true-crime content" industry.

[RadioActive Youth Media is KUOW's radio journalism and audio storytelling program for young people. This story was entirely youth-produced, from the writing to the audio editing.]

Podcast transcript:

Scene 1: Introduction

Spooky ghost: Ooooh.... Let's listen to some fictional radioooo...

[Ominous music]

Sam, podcast host: Welcome, everyone! This is “You Got Harmed," the spookiest new addition to KUOW’s podcast catalog.

But first, let’s run away from that ghost… and hear from this episode’s sponsor!

Boo! Is someone currently breaking into your house? Did they steal your dead grandma’s favorite necklace?

[Gasp]

Well, screw them with our sponsor of the day: Doom Alarm!

[Alarm sounds]

With instant laser-beam technology and enough energy to power a town, you’ll never get broken into again.

It worked so well that when someone broke into my house this morning, the perp was gone by the time I got up.

Click the link in the description for 20% off Doom Alarm with the code "you got doomed."

[Cash register ca-ching]

And now, let’s start the episode.

[Music abruptly stops]

Sam (off mic): Today we are going to talk about crime, and I’m excited…

Derek, podcast producer: Hey Sam, your energy is great, but can you just move a bit to the right? You're not fully getting picked up by the mic.

Sam: What? Uh, sure. Ok.

[Sam shuffles to get closer to the mic, clears throat]

This is going to be a wild episode of “You Got Harmed.” So get ready! Because this is different.

[Dun dun dunnnnn]

Last week in my home town of Belfair, Washington, we were thrown — catapulted, even — into the national news, because of a girl everyone knew, everyone loved, who suddenly went missing.

[Ominous music starts]

Her name is Gracy Robinson. Gracy spelled with a “y.” Why, you may ask? Pffft, I don't know. I'm not her parents.

But what I do know is that she was an 18-year-old girl who was in the depths of her senior year, getting Starbucks and eating pizza while applying to colleges like every other teen.

She loved the local summer camp where she made new friends and felt at home. She was smart and loved playing tennis.

[Music abruptly stops]

Derek: I thought it was baseball?

Sam: Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing. Yes, she played baseball and was really good at it! I think.

[Music restarts]

She had a bright future ahead of her. But people said that she was always a bit down and no one knew why, not even the town therapist. Who said—

Gracy’s therapist: She was sad sometimes, but she had a lot of—

Sam (talking over therapist): Gracy had an older brother who went to UCLA, and a mom and a dad who loved her dearly, and her dog, Dais, who loved her even more.

This is our story to tell.

[Music abruptly stops]

Derek: Wait, why is it our story?

Sam: Ummm haha, it’s our town, silly!

[Clown horn]

[Music restarts]

Today we’re going on a trip around town to relive Gracy’s last day! Maybe we’ll be able to get into her head and think of where she could be.

Now, let’s start our day!

Scene 2: Starbucks

[Van starts]

Sam: We are going to get into Gracy’s mindset by going to Starbucks. I will be ordering Gracy's favorite drink: a matcha latte with light ice.

I already placed the order online, so now we’re just waiting for them to call my name.

[Bustling cafe sounds]

Barista: Online order for Gracy? Matcha latte?

Sam: Oooh, that’s me!

Derek: You told them your name is Gracy?

Sam: Well duh, I’m Gracy for today!

Barista: Here’s your drink, have a nice day!

Sam: Thank you!

[Sam obnoxiously slurps the drink and shakes ice]

Wow you guys, this is sooooooo good. I mean, for someone who is dead, she had really good taste.

But uh oh! Gracy is lactose intolerant, which means we’ve gotta go to the bathroom.

[Toilet flushes]

Derek: Why would she order a drink with milk if it’ll make her go to the bathroom?

Sam: This is a coffee shop. Everything makes you go to the bathroom!

[Clown horn]

Anyway, let’s visit Gracy’s favorite bathroom stall!

Derek: How do you know it’s her favorite…?

Sam: Haha! Let’s go!

[Sam walks to bathroom, door opens and closes]

Okay, I’m in the bathroom now. It reeks. Let’s see if we can find any clues.

[Bathroom stall door swings open]

Wait, I see something behind the toilet! I think it’s a letter! I wonder what it says…

Ghost of Gracy reading the letter: The one who looks, the one who finds

For the mystery that slowly unbinds

With a drink that led to her demise

With a lock of hair, she had to rise

To leave her killer wasn’t very wise…

Sam: OMG, I think Gracy is trying to tell us something! I wonder what this could mean!

Let’s investigate!

[Ominous music, lights flickering and buzzing]

Wait, what the heck is that? I don’t know what’s going on!

[Stall door swings open as Sam tries to run out]

I see something on the mirror…

It says “run” in blood!

Wait…

[Sam wipes finger on mirror and sucks fingertip]

Oh! It’s just strawberry frappe sauce.

[Clown horn]

Haha, I guess it’s fine then!

[Flickering and banging stops and the bathroom door swings open]

That was weird! Whatever.

I think it’s time to move on to the next part of Gracy’s day!

Scene 3: Outside Gracy’s house

[Van starts]

Sam: So after Starbucks, Gracy walked to school, but didn’t stay for long. By second period, she was begging to go home early. According to the school nurse...

Nurse: She came to me and said her stomach—

Sam (talking over nurse): Anyway, she was going home to do homework, but she started to stumble on the way there, and she passed out by the bushes just a block away from her house.

So sad, she almost made it.

Derek: Hey, where did you read that? I don’t remember hearing about her stumbling...

Sam: We’re at her house! It’s so small, it's like our shed! Just kidding, it's more like our cabin. Ugh, it's so cuuuuute!

[Van parks and turns off. Sam and Derek get out of the van]

Sam: Wait, I see someone! Oh my god, you’re the neighbor?

Runner (panting, confused): Huh? What did you say?

Sam: Wow, such raw emotions.

Now we are going to the house. We will knock to let them know we are here.

Derek: Are they expecting us?

Sam: Mmmm, nope!

[Knocking loudly on door]

Sam: Belfair PD, I'm looking for Kristoff — wait, Christoper Robinson. Open up!

[Knocking continues]

Derek: Wait, why would you do that?

Sam: I think I see someone coming!

[Door unlocks and opens]

Gracy’s dad: Hello? Who are you?

Sam: Oh my gosh, hi! How are you?

Dad: I’m not feeling well, please lea—

Sam: We’re with “You Got Harmed!” We wanted to talk to you for our channel!

Derek: Hey, buddy, can you let us inside? The mic is picking up the wind.

Dad: What? No! Please leave.

Sam: Okay, thanks!

Scene 4: Inside Gracy’s house

[Sam and Derek slowly walk inside]

Sam: Wow, I can’t believe we’re actually inside. Look! Her photo is on the wall! Come here, check it out!

Derek: Aw, she looks so happy here. Take a pic of that.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Sam: Got it! Nice, we can use this for the intro.

Dad: Okay, we can talk, but please don’t take pictu—

Sam: Oooh! Sir, could you get in front of the picture of Gracy? We need a good thumbnail. Just look sad or something.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Oh my god, her eyebrows are horrendous in this photo.

Dad: What are you trying to do here? If you would like to talk with me then let’s talk, but if you’re going to be disrespectful, then please leave.

Sam: Okay, okay, let’s sit down somewhere.

Dad: Okay, great. What would you like to ask me?

Sam: Okay so like… I know Gracy is missing, but like… how do you feel?

Dad: Well, I feel terrible. She was the light of my life, and now she’s missing. It’s been hard, but I hope the police find her soon. I need her back.

Sam (off mic): Wow, that’s like, so sad.

Derek: Sam, could you try that one more time? Scooch in closer to the mic, please.

Sam: Oh yeah, good catch.

[Sam clears throat]

Wow, that’s like so sad. I’m really sorry for you.

Derek: Great, much better.

Sam: Okay so, like, do you know who could have killed her?

Dad: …wait, what did you say?

Sam: Uhmm… who could have taken her? Haha.

Dad (panicked): No, no, no. You said killed. Why do you think she’s dead?

Sam: Okay, I think we should go now, haha. You’re obviously going crazy.

[Coocoo clock chime]

Babe, let’s get out!

Dad: Get that microphone out of my face!

[Gracy's dad grabs the mic]

You people don’t know anything!

[Static and mic cuts out]

Scene 5: Going home

[Sam and Derek get in car and the ignition starts]

Sam: Well….. that was fun….

But wait! I forgot to ask why they named her Gracy with a ‘y’.

Derek: Okay, but like, the audience doesn't know what just happened. We're recording from our phone now.

Sam: Basically he took our mic, smashed it, and then told us to get the, and I quote —and this maybe hard for young listeners to hear, so trigger warning — but, “Get the 'F' out of my house you stupid piece of….”

And by the end of that we were out of the house.

If this story goes viral we might send him a cute fruit basket to his house… or prison…

I'm kidding, we can take that out.

[Sam yawns]

But it's getting late, now we must go home and debrief.

What a unique day one. This sounds like it could be a much more complicated case than what we thought.

It’s almost like this was the perfect murder… Lets go!

Derek: Did you say murder... again?

Sam: Speaking of murder, did you hear the sound of the squirrel running underneath the tires? Ahhh, I feel bad for it.

Derek: OK, whatever. Let’s just go home.

[Van parks. Derek and Sam get out and walk up to the door]

Sam: Why is the door open? Doom alarm, who is home?

Doom Alarm: Ummm... no one?

[Muffled sounds from inside the house]

Derek: What the heck was that?

Sam: What? Stop pranking me, Derek!

Derek: No, like what is that noise? It sounds like its coming from the bathroom...

Sam: Ugh, okay. Let's go see what it was.

[Sam and Derek walking]

Derek: Holy crap, I see a figure… It looks like a girl?!

Ghost of Gracy: As I walked into the Starbucks bathroom, I knew something was off. I had a bad feeling in my gut not to go in. But these venti matcha green teas had me going to the bathroom like every five seconds. Plus I've got a size zero bladder.

As I went into my favorite stall, I debated bringing my drink with me. But that seemed…weird.

As I washed my hands and checked my eyebrows, I noticed my drink was in a different spot than where I left it. But I didn’t care. A girls gotta have her matcha. I took a sip. Perfect and smooth.

Walking home I felt something, someone, following me. My eyes got blurry and I felt dizzy. It all happened so fast. I fell to the ground, right there in front of you. You killed me!

Derek: Wait, you killed her?

Sam: …is the recorder off?

Derek: Umm… yeah...

Sam: You know our viewership has been declining! Our last episode barely got 10 likes! I thought… if I made a story, we could get on the case and reel in viewers again. I’m trying to get a diamond play button!

Derek: What are you talking about?! We are doing fine!

Sam: Well, basically…. I was at Starbucks, saw Gracy, saw her drink, it looked really good, hated the way she did her eyebrows, grabbed a bottle of window cleaner from behind the barista’s counter, and poured it into her drink when she wasn’t looking.

[Silence]

Oh, and then I followed her home, saw her pass out, took her to the wetlands, and pushed her into the water. Haha.

Ghost of Gracy: My eyebrows are the reason why I'm dead? You truly are a terrible person!

Sam: Wait, real quick— Gracy, can you say, “You got harmed!” into the mic?

[Everyone screams]

This story was produced in RadioActive Youth Media's Advanced Producers Workshop for high school and college-age youth. Production assistance by Kyle Norris and Lucas Galarneau. Prepared for the web by Kelsey Kupferer. Edited by Mary Heisey.

Special thanks to Charlotte Engrav, Lucas Galarneau, Colin Yuen, Jennifer Nguyen, Najuma Abadir, Rhea Beecher and Adar Abdi for their voice acting.

Want more true-crime content from RadioActive? Check out this story's companion episode, We need to think about the ethics of true crime.

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